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Saturday, June 27, 2009
Saturday, June 6, 2009
War is Hell
This was published in the Oregonian's Iraq War blog and it is deeply moving. As I read this tears fell down my face. My heart aches for the men and family left behind, at the great loss that they feel. It would do well for those who so casually want to commit us to a war, or to so casually throw out phrases like 'withdraw' or 'pull out' to try to imagine what it feels like to be the soldiers in this piece. Our sacrifices are so very great. Remember this on Memorial Day before you go to your shopping spree or cookout.
War is hell
Posted by Stalker15A, via Mike Francis, The Oregonian June
02, 2009 14:56PM
Categories: Iraq military operations
On Friday our patrol got hit. An insurgent threw a grenade into one of our patrol vehicles. I helped the rest of my guys carry my roommate to the CSH (Combat Support Hospital) here in Mosul in a black body bag. As we took the body out of the Stryker vehicle our uniforms and boots became stained with blood comingled with tears for our buddy. Our steps were slow and deliberate, blood seeping out the bag as we walked. No one talked. There was no need. We placed the remains on a cold metal table. I turned to my guys and I told them "Remember this feeling"..then we started filing out. The bigwigs had started arriving to have their "look see" and quite frankly I was not in the mood for their dog and pony show. Our platoon consists of thirty men. We lost three that day. My roommate was fatally wounded..the team medic will never return to military service (amputee) and the gunner will most likely not return to military service (reconstructive facial surgeries).
We walked back to the transport vehicle and began hosing down the blood. As I watched it seep into the ground, I became acutely aware that tears were streaming down all our faces although there was no audible sounds emanating from us. We have been down this road before. We are well aware of our own mortality. The putrid acrid smell of burnt human flesh permeates our vehicles and clothes. My heart bleeds and my soul hides. A Doc comes out to tell us that our gunner is conscious and alert. We race inside to see him. We are not prepared for the sight. There are tubes in various orifices. His face is unrecognizable. His jaw and multiple facial bones are broken. His eyes are almost swollen shut. Yet he manages a smilewhich exposes the carnage in his mouth. Most of his teeth are broken or completely gone. His bottom lip is split wide open exposing a few more remaining teeth. We huddle at his bedside touching whatever body part we could..telling him that we were there..that the only thing to focus on now is getting better. They give him the purple heart. The tears flow freely again mixed with a few sobs and expletives. We are asked to leave so he can rest. I inquire about our team medic. They told us he was still in surgery..that they were doing everything they could to save his leg. We return to our vehicles. The chaplain comes out and offers us water and words of consolation. I am in a daze but I clearly hear words like God and hero and sacrifice. The platoon is not in the mood to hear anything religious. We need our space to think and grieve. He prays and walks away. We sit and wait. A nurse comes out to tell us that the team medic is out of surgery and heavily sedated. They managed to keep his leg attached for now and it is covered in a mound of bandages with blood seeping through. He briefly opens his eyes, scans the room to acknowledge everyone, then closes them again. We stand in silence. He opens his eyes again and asks why we were all staring at him. We have no answers. Someone yells "It's because your nipples are exposed"..(his hospital gown had fallen down off his shoulders). The feeble attempt at humor works for a brief second. He smiles..we smile. Then he asks about the other guys. The tears flow freely once again. We tell him to rest and begin filing out of the room. We drive back to our living areas. Those that have the stomach to eat do so. Most of us huddle outside. I go into the room. His laptop is still open..unfinished letter to his Mom..on his bed...dirty laundry strewn across the room. The reality is sobering. He is gone. Members of other platoons start arriving to pay their respects and offer condolences. People started punching and kicking things. There was a lot of cussing and enough tears to fill a bucket. Someone said we should get clean. We had a ramp ceremony (where we bring the casket to the plane) in a few hours. No one moved.
A few hours later we were back at the CSH. There were two planes on the runway. One had soldiers returning from leave and new soldiers arriving to the unit. The look on their faces told us this was not the welcome they expected. The FLA (dont know the meaning of the acronym) drove the body onto the tarmac flanked by two of our guntrucks. We marched out and removed the casket. It was adorned with the bronze star, the purple heart, and the CIB. The CIB, combat infantry man's badge, is issued to an infantryman for taking and returning fire during combat operations. My roommate returned from leave on April 16. We got into a firefight the very next day, April 17, in the Ras Al Koor neighborhood. This was his first firefight and therefore made him eligible for the CIB. I wrote his recommendation after that incident and he was due to get the coveted CIB very soon. He was looking forward to pinning it on his uniform and I was now looking at it pinned on his casket. The tears flowed behind our military issued sunglasses as we carried his body slowly to the aircraft. The casket was mettalic in nature and extremely cold due to the material used to preserve the body during shipment. The airfield was a sea of people rendering final salute as we walked by. We placed him in the belly of the airplane and rendered our final salute. I ran my hand the full length of the coffin..caressing the flag..whispering that if he could hear me.. I loved him and I missed him. The chaplains and Battalion Commanders gave their speeches. We hugged and cried. We marched off that plane with the entire battalion behind us. I paused briefly to look at the lonely casket sitting on the ramp of the airplane. We drove back in silence to our living quarters.
A few hours later we were back at the airfield. We carried our team medic to his plane pretty much in the same fashion we carried the coffin a few hours earlier. He was on his way to Landstuhl Germany for treatment. We shook hands and saluted as he flew off.
We never got to see our gunner leave. Sometime during the night he was flown to Balad Iraq to catch a follow on flight back to the states. We were pissed. I guess command thought that we had a pretty long day and needed the rest. What we NEEDED was to send our boys off the right way.
Saturday we mulled around for the better part of the day. Recovery guys came and inventoried his property and took it all away in large black tote boxes. I asked them to leave the pictures up that he put on the walls. They comply. The room is much emptier. I stare at the walls and the ceiling. Sleep does not come easily but it finally does.
I am awakened a few hours later by members of the squad for a mandatory debrief. The Combat Stress Team is here asking "How does that make you feel?" type questions. They say they KNOW how we are feeling and we need to talk it out...we politely tell them to go away. When they leave..we open up to each other..we laugh..we cry..we talk about our buddies. We keep the memories between us..no one else understands the bond..the unit cohesion..the love we have for each other.
A few minutes later we get word. We are tasked with a mission. Less than 36 hours have passed since the incident. We lace up our boots, don euipment, and race to our vehicles. Work beckons...we will grieve later. The war machine grinds on..and we..we are the cogs in the wheel. I do one final check of my guys..we lock and load..and prepare to walk through the valley of the shadow of death.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
For Soldiers, Stress After War May Be the Biggest Enemy
by Karen LeighJune 03, 2009
Insurgents are stealthy fighters, their attacks unexpected, startling and violent.
Combined with the stress of longer deployments, loneliness and brutal desert conditions, they are the perfect trigger for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.
Soldiers now returning from Iraq and Afghanistan are experiencing the highest levels of PTSD since the Vietnam War. Some just have trouble sleeping. Some find themselves emotionally numb or easily startled. In the most extreme cases, soldiers have killed themselves – and fellow soldiers. The nonprofit aid organization Veterans for Common Sense said that as of December 15, 2008, the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, or VA, had diagnosed 115,000 Iraq and Afghanistan vets with PTSD.
“These are staggering numbers,” said VCS executive director Paul Sullivan. “We can either admit that there’s a very serious problem and begin treatment, or we can ignore the problem and wait until the PTSD turns into unemployment, drug use, and suicide – very expensive social problems.”
The National Institute of Mental Health defines PTSD as “an anxiety disorder that can develop after exposure to a terrifying event or ordeal in which grave physical harm occurred or was threatened,” and says military combat could be a trigger.
Tom Tarantino, legislative associate for Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America, the largest group dedicated to veterans of conflict in the Middle East, estimated that as many as one in four returning servicemen had diagnosable PTSD.
“No one comes back from war unchanged – as many as one-third come back with some kind of PTSD, depression or traumatic brain injury,” he said.
According to IAVA, the country’s largest organization dedicated to the welfare of recent veterans, there is a total of 1.8 million alums of the fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan.
Due to dwindling enlistment and troop surges, many served more than one tour of duty in the Middle East.
“There’s a very severe soldier shortage,” Sullivan said. “Soldiers deployed twice or more to the war zone have a 50 percent increase in the risk of returning home from combat with PTSD, compared with those who went just once.”
The military defends its mental health assessments and policies.
“No military in the history of the world has done more to identify, evaluate, prevent and treat the mental health needs and concerns of its personnel than the Military Services of the United States,” said Pentagon spokeswoman Eileen Lainez.
But Sullivan disagrees. A Gulf War veteran, he says the very nature of combat in the Middle East – no set battles, but thousands of unexpected assaults at checkpoints, bases and roads by stealthy insurgents -- is the perfect breeding ground for PTSD.
“They call it ‘360/365,’” he said of the stress that comes with not knowing when the next battle will come. “They’re completely surrounded -- 360 degrees, 365 days of the year. Everyone thinks war is just you fight, then go back to the clubhouse and play video games and eat pizza.”
The military currently provides mental health support in combat theaters to respond to the mental health needs of service members in the field in Iraq and Afghanistan.
Within five days of returning home from a tour of duty, soldiers complete a Post Deployment Health Assessment and have a one-on-one review with healthcare professionals in which they discuss any health concerns, though these sessions are not tailored to mental ailments.
Three to six months after returning home, they are asked to complete the Post Deployment Health Re-Assessment, which does a follow-up check on any mental or physical health concerns.
“The DOD is actually doing a fairly decent job compared to how it used to be done. They’ve finally gotten the message,” Tarantino said. “We need to train our junior leaders to identify mental health injuries – and they are injuries. They are as a result of trauma, so it’s just like getting shot or getting blown up. We need to train our sergeants, our lieutenants, our captains and our colonels.”
Meanwhile, debate has been raging between the military and veterans’ groups who say soldiers with diagnosed PTSD are being forced to return to duty due to troop shortages.
“It’s a very serious problem,” Sullivan said. “The military had already deployed thousands who shouldn’t have been.” He referenced an “entire planeload of soldiers from Ft. Carson who were unfit,” but still taken back to war.
“One was taken out of a mental hospital, and another committed suicide in the war zone,” Sullivan said.
Some soldiers, affected by mental health stigma and a can-do attitude, may also try and hide their problems from military bosses.
“Servicemen and women aren’t being properly screened,” Tarantino said. “The stigma of mental health is so big within the military that a lot of service members just have that ‘suck it up’ mentality. These are people who do a lot of extraordinary things at an extremely young age with very little resources.”
He also noted a lack of support for veterans of the National Guard.
“Their situation is much more dire,” Tarantino said. “They can go from Baghdad to their front door in 36 hours and they don’t have access to the resources and community that the army does.”
Insurgents are stealthy fighters, their attacks unexpected, startling and violent.
Combined with the stress of longer deployments, loneliness and brutal desert conditions, they are the perfect trigger for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.
Soldiers now returning from Iraq and Afghanistan are experiencing the highest levels of PTSD since the Vietnam War. Some just have trouble sleeping. Some find themselves emotionally numb or easily startled. In the most extreme cases, soldiers have killed themselves – and fellow soldiers. The nonprofit aid organization Veterans for Common Sense said that as of December 15, 2008, the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, or VA, had diagnosed 115,000 Iraq and Afghanistan vets with PTSD.
“These are staggering numbers,” said VCS executive director Paul Sullivan. “We can either admit that there’s a very serious problem and begin treatment, or we can ignore the problem and wait until the PTSD turns into unemployment, drug use, and suicide – very expensive social problems.”
The National Institute of Mental Health defines PTSD as “an anxiety disorder that can develop after exposure to a terrifying event or ordeal in which grave physical harm occurred or was threatened,” and says military combat could be a trigger.
Tom Tarantino, legislative associate for Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America, the largest group dedicated to veterans of conflict in the Middle East, estimated that as many as one in four returning servicemen had diagnosable PTSD.
“No one comes back from war unchanged – as many as one-third come back with some kind of PTSD, depression or traumatic brain injury,” he said.
According to IAVA, the country’s largest organization dedicated to the welfare of recent veterans, there is a total of 1.8 million alums of the fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan.
Due to dwindling enlistment and troop surges, many served more than one tour of duty in the Middle East.
“There’s a very severe soldier shortage,” Sullivan said. “Soldiers deployed twice or more to the war zone have a 50 percent increase in the risk of returning home from combat with PTSD, compared with those who went just once.”
The military defends its mental health assessments and policies.
“No military in the history of the world has done more to identify, evaluate, prevent and treat the mental health needs and concerns of its personnel than the Military Services of the United States,” said Pentagon spokeswoman Eileen Lainez.
But Sullivan disagrees. A Gulf War veteran, he says the very nature of combat in the Middle East – no set battles, but thousands of unexpected assaults at checkpoints, bases and roads by stealthy insurgents -- is the perfect breeding ground for PTSD.
“They call it ‘360/365,’” he said of the stress that comes with not knowing when the next battle will come. “They’re completely surrounded -- 360 degrees, 365 days of the year. Everyone thinks war is just you fight, then go back to the clubhouse and play video games and eat pizza.”
The military currently provides mental health support in combat theaters to respond to the mental health needs of service members in the field in Iraq and Afghanistan.
Within five days of returning home from a tour of duty, soldiers complete a Post Deployment Health Assessment and have a one-on-one review with healthcare professionals in which they discuss any health concerns, though these sessions are not tailored to mental ailments.
Three to six months after returning home, they are asked to complete the Post Deployment Health Re-Assessment, which does a follow-up check on any mental or physical health concerns.
“The DOD is actually doing a fairly decent job compared to how it used to be done. They’ve finally gotten the message,” Tarantino said. “We need to train our junior leaders to identify mental health injuries – and they are injuries. They are as a result of trauma, so it’s just like getting shot or getting blown up. We need to train our sergeants, our lieutenants, our captains and our colonels.”
Meanwhile, debate has been raging between the military and veterans’ groups who say soldiers with diagnosed PTSD are being forced to return to duty due to troop shortages.
“It’s a very serious problem,” Sullivan said. “The military had already deployed thousands who shouldn’t have been.” He referenced an “entire planeload of soldiers from Ft. Carson who were unfit,” but still taken back to war.
“One was taken out of a mental hospital, and another committed suicide in the war zone,” Sullivan said.
Some soldiers, affected by mental health stigma and a can-do attitude, may also try and hide their problems from military bosses.
“Servicemen and women aren’t being properly screened,” Tarantino said. “The stigma of mental health is so big within the military that a lot of service members just have that ‘suck it up’ mentality. These are people who do a lot of extraordinary things at an extremely young age with very little resources.”
He also noted a lack of support for veterans of the National Guard.
“Their situation is much more dire,” Tarantino said. “They can go from Baghdad to their front door in 36 hours and they don’t have access to the resources and community that the army does.”
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