Testimony on family services needs

The Statement of Fred Cowell on the need for family support for veterans tells the truth in that the front lines of dealing with the aftereffects of tour are in the homefront.  

The impact of a veteran’s mental illness is far reaching and obviously has serious consequences for the individual veteran being affected.  However, less obvious are the serious consequences, stemming from a veteran’s mental illness, that confront his/her spouse, their children and other family members.  Families of veterans provide the most basic support network for returning veterans.  Spouses of veterans are usually the first to identify readjustment issues, and they are usually the best advocates for guiding the veteran into professional care.  However, to provide correct guidance on treatment these family members must have a basic understanding of VA mental health resources and how to access them.  This understanding can only come from comprehensive VA family counseling and education services. 

Additionally, spouses and other family caregivers who provide love, support and assistance to the veteran must also cope with tremendous personal stress as well.  Unfortunately, VA’s Mental Illness family support services are limited or restricted.   PVA believes that Congress should formally authorize, and VA should provide, a full range of psychological and social support services as an earned benefit to family caregivers of severely injured and ill veterans. 

It is difficult for us to talk with others about what is going on. One one hand, we have fought, at times tooth and nail, and have unleashed parts within us that we wish to keep seperate from those that we love. "When I look at her face, I want her to only feel love, not this monster within me".  I have to keep this seperate from her... not contaminate her, not poison her.  It poisons me enough as it is.  What loving spouse would share this? 

Think of your soldiers and those that you served with.  Is there a bond?  Did you trust them?  Would you trust them?  Can you count on them to have your back?  You are in a relationship with someone, an adult... not a child, who loves you.  If it were one of your soldiers who was keeping off to the side, not talking to anyone, you'd step in.  Let your spouse/partner in.  

A huge asset in readjusting back home is the presence of a loving relationship.  A relationship is a two-way affair.  You have to give a little.