Office War

This video is hilarious.  Sometimes in talking about war and the obvious terrible nature of it we forget the nobility of our actions (as we focus only on our guilt and our barbarism), of jokes had, of feeling alive, and more.  That war is archetypal (and archetypes lend to comedy as well as tragedy) and that in the depths of darkness we find things to laugh at.  

some old but still good videos

I know this is months after the election, but move past the election parts.  There is an underlying theme here of what is real and not real in veteran's issues.

relationships

Last night I watched a great movie, Clint Eastwood's Gran Torino.  It was a night after a long week of disconnected feelings and uneasiness.  As much as I read about mental health, about what PTSD is, about social interactions and the psychology of the military... as much as I know (and know that I know), I still found myself in a long week.  It had been two weeks of very little sleep, of working late hours, of deadlines for school exams, and I found myself in a state of not caring about anyone or anything.  It was only a week earlier that I had a spring in my step, a song in my heart, about meeting someone and dating her.  Suddenly, for no reason I could find, I found myself not caring, shying away from people, not wanting anyone near me.  At work I was allowed to go home because they assumed I had a bad cold.  Truth was I was emotionally flat and uncaring.

At the end of another long day I stopped, on a whim, at the movie theater to watch this movie.  Wonderful.  I cried.  I'm glad I was alone because I was not self conscious of my emotions and could give myself to the movie.  "What really haunts a man are the things he does and isn't ordered to", as Walt says in the movie.  In another scene, as his neighbors tell him he is a good man, he says flatly "I'm not a good man".  

I ached for Walt as he sat on his bed with the phone in his hand and looking at the admittance form for the hospital in his hand.  He was trying to connect with his son over the phone but couldn't.  In confession he says that his inability to be a father for his sons bothered him his entire life.  The picture of him sitting in the dark, alone, drinking his beer, tore at me.  I know so many of my comrades feel the same way.  At this moment I too felt the same way.  

I had to show strength and courage.  I was distancing myself from a wonderful person I had met.  I did not know what to say, what to do.  Emotionally I didn't even feel like doing anything... at least it seemed that way.  To be completely honest with myself (we lie to ourselves a great deal) I knew that I really wanted her in my life.  I was scared.  I was scared of bringing my self to her.  Scared of showing her my weakness.  Scared of showing her what haunts me.  

I know that healing occurs within relationships.

I drove to her.  I didn't know what to say.  I just went.   I am fortunate in that she understands.  She just held me while I fought my inner battle there, moving back and forth from clenched teeth and wracking guilt to a calm weariness.  No words from her, no "I understand", nothing like that... just holding me.  It isn't easy.  It is hard to share like that with her.  I recognize this.  And while I was there and she just holding me I became fearful of her being contaminated by me.  I moved from her touch, feeling on some emotional level that I was making her less by her contact with me.   Healing doesn't occur insantly, but this is a start.  

Today I am more toward center.  I am thankful.  I am blessed.

Iraq Combat Vet Struggles

The themes this vet talks about are shared by so many other veterans.

Infantry in Iraq

A good video of various units in Iraq.

November 2004- Iraq

A video of a patrol of 2-162 Oregon Infantry in Iraq in 2004.  The camera is placed down on the humvee as the gunner moves his turrent around.  The sights and sounds are what its like.  A lot of riding around, yelling at civilians to stop, a lot of yelling at each other over the radios to determine where the shots came from.  This video is not my platoon, but I was in country at this time.

2-162 Infantry

An official music video by the Oregon National Guard.  Ooh Rah Oregon Infantry! 

Marines turn to Greek plays to cope with stress

Even 2,500 years ago, Sophocles was using words like 'shell-shocked'

"I wanted to keep the pain to myself, son, but now it cuts straight through me. Do you understand? It cuts straight through me," the lead character in the play "Philoctetes" tells a comrade.  Read the Story

This is an amazing story of how the Marine Corps is putting on conferences to discuss PTSD and how they are reading ancient Greek plays about war to which standing ovations are given.  This is wonderful because it helps us modern 'men' to see that we are no weaker, no different, than the warriors that have come before us... human.  We can see that the strains of war are as old as war itself and this knowledge gives us license to accept our own epxeriences and struggles.  

A question

I have a question.  It may resonate with some... it may seem senseless to others.  

PTSD described in many ways

This article in th Yuma Sun is a quick look at PTSD

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD, has been described in a number of different ways ranging from hysteria to trauma to shell shock to exhaustion. Shakespeare even coined a term for PTSD in King Henry IV, calling it the "War sequelae."

  However, it was not until the ’80s with the publication of the "Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders III" that the term post- traumatic stress disorder appeared.

  PTSD not only presents a number of different symptoms, but it also evokes a number of different responses. Gen. Patton slapped a soldier suffering from battle fatigue in a hospital ward during World War II. A television "M*A*S*H" character, Maj. Frank Burns, called them "slug nutties." A family experiences heartbreak when one of its members becomes more and more withdrawn and behaves in an alien manner.

More...

Letter to an Iraqi Child

A friend, who runs this blog, made this video. The lines between combatant and noncombatant blur in the realities of urban warfare and our code of the warrior are hard answers for our transgressions.

Maddow - IAVA advocates for mental health care for veterans

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

The need for increase in mental health care and veterans benefits

Editorial about veteran suicides

Editorial in The Oregonian about rising rates of veteran suicide

(by Mike Francis)

The Army says it can't fathom the rising and 'terrifying' rate of soldiers who are committing suicide

It's a statistic that staggers the imagination: More American soldiers killed themselves in January than were killed by hostile action in Iraq and Afghanistan. This follows a record number of suicides for 2008.

Similarly, an examination of the suicides among Oregon service members and veterans over the past five years shows that more Oregon veterans died at their own hands than at the hands of their enemies in war zones. It's as if the "hot wars" on the battlefield are being shadowed by an almost-unnoticed silent war that is killing service members at an accelerating rate.

While the raw numbers may not seem particularly high -- the Army says it believes that 24 soldiers killed themselves in January, although some of the cases are officially under investigation -- they are rising quickly. The Pentagon has been forthright in admitting it faces a growing tragedy in its own ranks, and Congress has begun to examine the phenomenon.

There's no single explanation for what's happening because every person and every set of circumstances is different. But it is clear that fighting an extended war on two fronts has become a devastatingly heavy burden for a small segment of the population, even as most of the rest of America has stopped paying attention. And it seems to be getting worse the more we ask these soldiers and other service members to do.

"This is terrifying. We do not know what is going on." That's the frank admission of an unnamed Army official quoted by CNN and other sources in the wake of the January statistics.

There are some factors that occur frequently among suicidal veterans: They have been deployed more than once, they suffer financial hardships, they have sustained wounds or injuries or suffer chronic pain, they abuse alcohol or drugs, suffered sexual trauma, saw friends killed, are prone to mood swings and have endured stresses in their relationships, even among their closest family members.

U.S. military policy today relies on an all-volunteer force, which is the system that commanders say works best. But the pain that falls on that force is sharp indeed -- sharp enough to raise questions again about whether an involuntary draft wouldn't be more effective in acquainting Americans with the cost of war.

One way or another, that cost is going to be felt here at home. The Oregon National Guard, which has suffered its share of suicides in these wars, is preparing to send as many as 3,000 citizen-soldiers back to Iraq this summer. With skill and fortune, most of them will come home after a year, only to face a new round of difficulties in their civilian lives. This is a human cost that our state will bear for years to come.

The suicide rate is another factor to bear in mind when America considers sending troops into combat. Even as the war in Iraq winds down, the United States is preparing to ramp up its forces in Afghanistan, where the war is a long way from ending. Any flare-up in Pakistan, Korea, Iran, Lebanon, Somalia or elsewhere has the potential to stretch America's military capacity past the breaking point.

It's time for America to ask hard questions about what it means to support the troops. And the military's civilian leaders must not be allowed to wear out the most precious tools in their kit.

TriCare video

https://www.hnfs.net/training/guard_reserve/index.html

There isn't a 'preview' ability to post this video here, but follow the link above. It is a video about TriCare for National Guard and Reserve Components. The viewer has the ability to skip to various sections that are more applicable.

Fear for active-duty spouses triggers symptoms of post-traumatic stress syndrome

Post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD, describes a set of reactions many people have after seeing or surviving something involving death or the threat of death or serious injury.

Traumas that can lead to the disorder include going to war, being violently attacked, sexually assaulted, kidnapped, held hostage or tortured or living through a disaster.

Symptoms include having nightmares, insomnia, or flashbacks, avoiding reminders of the trauma, and feeling excessively angry, vigilant or jumpy.

To count as PTSD, the symptoms must last more than a month and must hurt the patient's ability to function at work or in relationships.

A key factor in the diagnosis is being directly exposed to a traumatic event, something not present for Sunich's patient.

Still, "there's a lot of research to show that partners and spouses and kids suffer from secondary PTSD," said Tom Berger, a senior analyst for veterans benefits and mental health issues for the Vietnam Vets of America.

If you don't seek some sort of treatment for yourself, do it for your family.  This news article briefly illustrates the link between veteran and family.   Here are some more information from this news article:

Military spouses' comments from Sunich's survey

• "I don't think I can handle another deployment."

• "Need to look at the effects deployment has on preschool-age children. There isn't much help or programs for the 3- to 5-year-olds."

• "Much of my trauma was from the mass casualties my husband's unit sustained and the funerals afterwards."

• "If I hadn't had my faith in God, I wouldn't have fared so well with my husband's many deployments. That faith has been my saving grace, literally."

• "My biggest problem dealing with my husband coming from Iraq has been that I don't know what to do for him. This causes me great anxiety."

• "Urgent intervention for families should be an outcome."

• "I am on edge because I just don't know when the Army is gonna say, 'Okay, you have to go back.' It's just hard."

To take the survey, go to http://www.shrink-rap.net.

Resources for military families

• MacDill Airman and Family Readiness Center:
(813) 828-2721

• Brandon Resource Center: (813) 655-9281

• MacDill Air Force Base Chapel: (813) 828-3621

• Military & Family Life
Consultant Program: 
(813) 426-4145

• National Military Family Association: http://www.nmfa.org

• Military One Source, around-the-clock answer service on counseling, money matters, deployment and spouse employment: toll-free 1-800-342-9647; www.militaryonesource.com

Testimony on family services needs

The Statement of Fred Cowell on the need for family support for veterans tells the truth in that the front lines of dealing with the aftereffects of tour are in the homefront.  

The impact of a veteran’s mental illness is far reaching and obviously has serious consequences for the individual veteran being affected.  However, less obvious are the serious consequences, stemming from a veteran’s mental illness, that confront his/her spouse, their children and other family members.  Families of veterans provide the most basic support network for returning veterans.  Spouses of veterans are usually the first to identify readjustment issues, and they are usually the best advocates for guiding the veteran into professional care.  However, to provide correct guidance on treatment these family members must have a basic understanding of VA mental health resources and how to access them.  This understanding can only come from comprehensive VA family counseling and education services. 

Additionally, spouses and other family caregivers who provide love, support and assistance to the veteran must also cope with tremendous personal stress as well.  Unfortunately, VA’s Mental Illness family support services are limited or restricted.   PVA believes that Congress should formally authorize, and VA should provide, a full range of psychological and social support services as an earned benefit to family caregivers of severely injured and ill veterans. 

It is difficult for us to talk with others about what is going on. One one hand, we have fought, at times tooth and nail, and have unleashed parts within us that we wish to keep seperate from those that we love. "When I look at her face, I want her to only feel love, not this monster within me".  I have to keep this seperate from her... not contaminate her, not poison her.  It poisons me enough as it is.  What loving spouse would share this? 

Think of your soldiers and those that you served with.  Is there a bond?  Did you trust them?  Would you trust them?  Can you count on them to have your back?  You are in a relationship with someone, an adult... not a child, who loves you.  If it were one of your soldiers who was keeping off to the side, not talking to anyone, you'd step in.  Let your spouse/partner in.  

A huge asset in readjusting back home is the presence of a loving relationship.  A relationship is a two-way affair.  You have to give a little.  

PTSD Presentation

Joint event by Psi Chi and the SVA (Student Veterans Association) about PTSD. The presenter is a member of Psi Chi as well as a veteran of the Marine Corps (Desert Storm) and the Oregon National Guard (OIF2). On hand will be members of the SVA for a panel discussion.

Eddie presents PTSD from his own experience as a marine and soldier and a psychology major in terms that worked for him.

"When I got back from Iraq, all I wanted to do was go see my girl. I only wanted to go home. I felt fine. I felt okay. I missed my home. And the presentations and talks that the VA, chaplains, and others gave to us during our demob went in one ear and out the other. It didn't connect with any of us. None of us. It wasn't until months later that I went to a counselor, not for myself, but to get inormation to take back to some of my fellow soldier in the company, several of whom were drinking heavily, taking pills, having relationship problems. As someone who was training in psychology I recognized the need around me for intervention. However, I did NOT recognize the need in my own self. It was in the act of helping othes that I saw how much I myself needed therapy. I was very quick to anger, could not concentrate, could not enjoy a concert or a 4th of July, took everything to seriously and more. Now I've gotten help and looking back I see how much I needed it. It strikes me that there are many more who are like me, that do not recognize the need within themselves. That is why I am so upfront and public about my own history. That by showing how someone like me, a normal, capable Staff NCO, who seems to have it all 'wired tight' needed help and how getting help doesn't lessen my leadership as an NCO, but makes it better.

http://www.warriormyth.blogspot.com

http://www.eddiecoyote.com/veterans.htm

eddiecoyote@gmail.com The following address takes you to a google map that show location on the map and a ground eye view of what building you are going into. http://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en&q=SMSU+298,+1825+SW+Broadway,+Portland,+Oregon+97201&ie=UTF8&ll=45.559256,-122.637634&spn=0,359.577026&z=11&iwloc=A&layer=c&cbll=45.511354,-122.683954&panoid=d9uNrxMhQ_woNpoDbvtqag&cbp=12,347.57029722525476,,0,5